A personal note

Death comes in many different forms.  Sometimes, there is a life threatening disease and there is time to prepare and anticipate with the support of your loved ones.  Sometimes, it’s sudden, and it takes everyone by surprise.  

No matter how death interjects in your life, there are common emotions it will evoke and everyone will reassure are normal - it will be upsetting, confusing, hard, and frustrating.  You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and you’ll never be the same.  But, I propose there is one certainty that really, truly matters and is so important to remember: 

It will get better.  

And there, in that small four word statement, one which I believe to be true with my whole heart, is where the core difference between my mother and myself lay.  She could not, for the majority of her life, be happy.  And it’s nothing her family, friends, therapists, or anyone else could ultimately help her with.  Believe me, we tried, and we tried so damn hard.  But the distance grew, and she made the decision to finalize that distance.  

So, there is always a choice.  We can choose to turn our backs, or we can choose to love.  I'm so lucky to have so many friends spread out across the world, who give me such support and love when times are tough.  And I choose love, just like they do.  I choose to remember the many laughs, her many varied hobbies and phases (writer/runner/carpenter/house painter/musician/horse whisperer/yogi...I could go on!).  And ultimately, I will move on...because after all, it will get better.